I simply didnt know. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. For years he had floundered from one sanitarium to another. How then shall we help our readers determine, to their own satisfaction, whether they are one of us? We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. I am enclosing an attachment below of the books that the first 100 guys read before there was AA and a Big Book. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me. Many of our husbands were just as far gone. Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected. He is under constant fear and tension- that makes for more drinking. That is our experience. (c) That God could and would if He were sought. That disgusted me. When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate. When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions. He saw that he had to place the outcome in Gods hands or he would soon start drinking again, and all would be lost anyhow. Big money monkey stickers. He succumbed to that gay crowd inside, who laughed at their own misfortunes and understood his. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. 8-b. For the 11 point font, Holidays in Ocean Alley is 36,200 words including the front matter and list of my other books at the back. With many individuals the methods which I employed are successful, but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.. Though, it is an impressive number when you stop to consider how many pages are in the Big Book. According to the Big Book, how many copies were sold of the. Though the family does not fully agree with dads spiritual activities, they should let him have his head. His action met wide-spread approval, and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town. My musing was interrupted by the telephone. Did not these feelings, after all, determine the course of our existence? Your junior executive may not agree with the contents of our book. Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. 11. If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. He decided to cosplay after watching Captain America: The First Avenger, and instead . In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another. I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation. I had met my match. On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened. It is as good for the wife as for the husband. This is the how and why of it. Father will necessarily spend much time with other alcoholics, but this activity should be balanced. It was a devastating blow to my pride. The fact is that he should work with other people to maintain his own sobriety. He would do anything, he said, but that. We know women who are unafraid, even happy under these conditions. This case contains a powerful lesson. I love the ease of use of the Kindle version on my smart phone for use in meetings when you or someone else is trying to remember the page number of a specific passage, or how many times a specific word is mentioned (for instance, RECOVERED- 34 times in the first 164!!!) I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good. Without help it is too much for us. Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. So, for one reason or another, they cover these men, hoping matters will take a turn for the better. Search out another alcoholic and try again. The Anonymous Press PO Box 1212 Malo We believe that is useful to remind ourselves of this fact. I have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplane bound for New York and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife. Freds story speaks for itself. Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? We are men and women in recovery who depend on the program described in the basic text (the first 164 pages) of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Everyone spent in thousands and chattered in millions. Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing.. Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person. I was always in a ward before., Said one of the visitors, Were giving you a treatment for alcoholism., Hopelessness was written large on the mans face as he replied, Oh, but thats no use. At some of these we balked. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. If your husband is otherwise a normal individual, your chances are good at this stage. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. There is another paralyzing fear. It also has its own Facebook page and Len R is now in the process of creating audio versions of each of the chapters, available on YouTube. Perhaps I could help some of them. His coming was an oasis in this dreary desert of futility. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either Includes pages 1-164 and: The original Foreword. Jessica Chapman Instagram, My wife began to work in a department store, coming home exhausted to find me drunk. Come, whats this all about? I queried. Alcohol was my master. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists. Is our work solid so far? These tiny bodies are governed by precise laws, and these laws hold true throughout the material world. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Usually we did not leave. And so can you, though you be but one man with this book in your hand. There were flights from city to country and back, as my wife and I sought escape. Bill Wilsons influence can be seen in many ways in the book, including the words and language used and also in the style that it was written. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. This takes us out of ourselves. We have had long rendezvous with hurt pride, frustration, self-pity, misunderstanding and fear. We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material? We have made our demonstration, done our part. God didnt do it. His family was re- assembled, and he began to work as a salesman for the business he had lost through drinking. And why? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink. That was the last honest manual labor on my part for many a day. Why does he? Drink was taking an important and exhilarating part in my life. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. 1. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience. High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. He tells you he has decided to stop jay- walking for good, but in a few weeks he breaks both legs. He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition. We'll be down.". What right had he to involve those dependent upon him? Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there. Give freely of what you find and join us. You should join in his efforts as much as you possibly can. There is, however a vast amount of fun about it all. Or you may already have had it several times. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); PHP with Housing for Health Professionals, Substance Abuse Treatment Programs for Professionals, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Program in Florida, Addiction Treatment Programs for Professionals, Mental Health and Addiction Treatment Programs for Professionals, Depression Treatment Center for Professionals, Rehab 101: Self-Will Run Riot How Learning to Let Go of Control Can Help Us Recover, How a 12 Step Program Helps Recovery From Addiction, Rehab 101: The Importance of Practicing New Behaviors (and Attitudes) in Recovery, Rehab 101: Some Reflections on How the Principle of Humility Fits into Recovery. They expect him to give them the nice times they used to have before he drank so much, and to show his contrition for what they suffered. Instead, we looked at the human defects of these people, and sometimes used their shortcomings as a basis of wholesale condemnation. Thats a common form of trouble too. Positions were always in jeopardy or gone. Three: This husband has gone much further than husband number two. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes. These can then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness. We know all about liquor as a social lubricant. He listened in wonder as I talked. Why not I? Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering. That was in June, 1935. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job-wife or no wife-we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. The Big Book is a Text Book The first 164 pages of the Big Book are the basic text. For example, the passage about "King Alcohol" is not shown in the A's since there are no listings for the common word Common words cannot be used when searching for a particular passage. "Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. So that was it-last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about religion. We believe that managers of large enterprises often have little idea how prevalent this problem is. This may lay the groundwork for a friendly talk about his alcoholic problem. What is this but a miracle of healing? It may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever. Have we tried to make mortar without sand? Of course our friend was wrong-dead wrong. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. If you are positive he is one of this type you may feel you had better leave. Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. You should continue to be friendly to them. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. The word God, or a variant of Him, appears 281 times in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Avoid answering these inquiries as much as you can. Though experience had made him skeptical, he finished his treatment with unusual confidence. You can see that he really does love you with his better self. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. Those words are simply not written down in the first 164 pages yet, our literature DOES have multiple references to the idea of taking the Steps. This is his story: I came to work on Tuesday morning. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. Counsel with persons is often desirable, but we let God be the final judge. Now, there are few. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. Probably there are still some misgivings. To me, this incident illustrates lack of understanding as to what really ails the alcoholic, and lack of knowledge as to what part employers might profitably take in salvaging their sick employees. The Big Book God References: This exercise is meant to be an individual study aid of the Big Book in which the author identifies the references to God. That was a great physicians opinion. Many a distracted wife has visited this house to find loving and understanding companionship among women who knew her problem, to hear from the lips of their husbands what had happened to them, to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled. It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. So, you see, there were three alcoholics in that town, who now felt they had to give to others what they had found, or be sunk. If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Sub-sede: Rua Prudente de Moraes, 911 We have tried to hold the love of our children for their father. He had come to pass his experience along to me-if I cared to have it. It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. With it you can avert death and misery for them. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can-if he is not too alcoholic. Keep it always in sight that we are dealing with that most terrible human emotion-jealousy. A Secular Sobriety Including a Secular Version of the First 164 Pages of the Big Book is available as a paperback or kindle at Amazon USA or at Amazon Canada.. Your husband will sometimes be unreasonable and you will want to criticize. AA fellowship is actually not nearly as effective as it once was. Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: (a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition. He shouted great tidings. Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted. Had he been successful in his enterprise, he would have been set on his feet financially which, at the time, seemed vitally important. Nazar Paulista, Pedra Bela, Pedreira, Pinhalzinho, Piracaia, Serra Negra, Valinhos, Vrzea Paulista e When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, I wish I had what that man has. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. They experienced a few distressing failures, but in those cases they made an effort to bring the mans family into a spiritual way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering. If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean a great deal. Potentially, anyone's -- in the U.S.A. After the sermon, he quietly got up and made an explanation. If he gets drunk, dont blame yourself. Just 4 easy steps and you're done! It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. The local banker watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till with amused skepticism. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded. We have already admitted this in confidence to another person, but we are sure we would be imprisoned or lose our job if it were known. Some people cannot be seen-we send them an honest letter. I pointed out that I had had nothing to drink whatever for three years, and this in the face of difficulties that would have made nine out of ten men drink their heads off. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. - Centro - Jundia/SP | CEP: 13201-004 | (11) 4492-9020 (11) 4521-2163 e-mail: Sede: Cajamar - Rua Vereador Jos Mendes, 267, Jordansia CEP: 07776-460 Fone: (11) 97166-5785 When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. We shall do our utmost to achieve that ideal. Many of these changes were to style and punctuation in an effort to keep the book stylistically current. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. 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